Little girl in a big boys world
by MissMoonWillow
Summary: *Sequel to She who rides with sons*It's been ten weeks since Jax has been made President, but it seems like there is still bad heading their way. Now with the pending birth of the baby, home invasions and lots of other terrible things would it become too much. Juice/OC
1. New Day

**AN:** Hello all, the third installment of Kelly Madock, I am happy to have this chapter up. I will try and keep updated as best to my ability, so feel free to alert and review.

* * *

**Chapter One  
**_New Day_

* * *

Juice stood beside Kelly, his hand holding hers as he watched her pushing. Kelly's hand was squeezing Juice's hand tight; he could hear the midwife telling Kelly to push as he felt nervous. The whole event a blur, the feeling of anticipation as the doctor smiled. "It's a boy…" He held a small baby up, and Juice felt his throat tighten seeing the black baby staring at him.

Snapping awake Juice ran his hand across the bed trying to feel for Kelly, he sat up listening to the sound of mixing as he pushed the sheet off himself getting out the bed. Heading into the kitchen he could see Kelly standing in her night shirt, she was mixing up something, Juice couldn't see stepping closer to her, his hands wrapping over her stomach as he looked to the bowl of what look like pancake batter. "You feeling okay?" He whispered softly resting his chin on her shoulder.

"I'm good baby," Kelly turned her face to feel Juice's lips brush on her cheek, "You had another dream?" She asked feeling his hands brushing over her stomach even more.

Juice exhaled, "Same one," Taking a step back Juice walked over to the stove seeing Kelly had placed a frying pan, but he played his hand over the handle. "It's like I can't let it go. And everything…"

"Baby," Kelly placed the bowl down walking over to Juice, her fingers brushing his face, "These dreams are just that, dreams." Her eyes searching his, "The baby isn't going to be born black, and it's just your fear of the club finding out, but they won't."

"I'm just scared for him…" Juice placed his hands on her stomach; it didn't look that different since she was just going into her second trimester.

Kelly touched her hands over Juice's, her eyes meeting his with a serious expression. "And what makes you think it's going to be a boy?" Her eyebrow rose showing her seriousness.

Juice broke into a grin, "I just know." He pulled her close kissing her; he felt her body relaxing again him giving into the kiss.

Pulling away Kelly let a small smile slip, "Well it's just a matter of weeks before we can find out…" Her voice drifted as she glanced to the bowl on the table, and the clock showing it was three in the morning.

Juice nodded, "I am telling you," He gave Kelly a knowing smile, "It's going to be a boy." He ducked as Kelly made a swipe for his face playfully. "Too slow."

Kelly rolled her eyes, picking up the bowl she walked over to the stove looking over to Juice, "You might as well go back to sleep, I'm not gonna be sleeping." Placing the bowl down she started to turn the gas ring on starting to heat up the frying pan.

"You need to sleep baby. You've been like this for weeks." He exhaled, "It's because I'm helping Clay." He finally said seeing Kelly's reaction to the mention of Clay's name. "I don't know what's going on with that head of yours." He watched as Kelly started to make a pancake, he knew whenever he talked about Clay she'd put a wall up that he couldn't break through, so he gave up trying.

Kelly listened to the sound of Juice moving from one room to the other, it wasn't that she didn't want to tell him, but with everything that had happened with the change of leadership, to the attacks on people associated with SAMCRO. Everything had Kelly on high alert.

While it seemed to be getting back to some kind of normality, Kelly had a feeling with everything that Tig did to avenge Clay, was going to have a backlash. Maybe these break ins were to do with Niners retaliation, all Kelly knew is it was hard for her to sleep without the fear of their apartment being next.

Watching the pancake cooking in the pan Kelly glanced over to her cell phone on the table, another reason she couldn't sleep, it was knowing her aunt Gemma was out, she would do that a lot. Go out and come home with booze and weed on her breath. It worried Kelly to the point she was waiting for a phone call for her to go to the hospital.

Flipping the pancake over the smell of food making her stomach knot, even if she found it hard to have an appetite, she knew she needed to eat for her unborn baby, her hand resting on her stomach taking the cooked pancake from the pan onto a place, she started to make the next one glancing over her cell phone again, it wasn't ringing, but part of Kelly was hoping for Gemma to go back to being herself, but it wasn't happening any day soon.

* * *

It felt weird, he kept his distance from the club, but now he had to see everyone. He had to keep glancing to the final resting place of his father feeling everything inside him being pulled in different directions. Opie knew his father wouldn't have wanted a fuss made of him. The club needed to pay its last respect to a founding member.

Glancing over the cemetery his eyes found her.

Kelly had turned up early, her hands wrapped around herself looking to the hole in which Piney's remains would be put to rest. The weather was cooling down, the summer making way for autumn, the trees turning colours.

Opie glanced over Kelly; he inhaled seeing how she dressed up. A dress being worn by Kelly was a rarity, but the dress she wore wasn't black, but of a light cream falling to her knees. "You didn't have to…"

"But I wanted to," Kelly placed a hand on the small box of ashes, "I couldn't pay my last respect without the dress. Piney would be laughing at me if he could see me now." Her hand reached up pushing stay pieces of hair behind her ear.

Opie shrugged, "He would think you're beautiful. You are beautiful." He reached a hand out touching her cheek, his fingers brushing her hair before glancing behind her to see if anyone else had arrived yet.

For a second Kelly's eyes connected with Opie's, her hand reaching up to take hold of his feeling her finger so small to the size of his hand. "Thank you, but I think we both know I look like shit right now." Kelly took Opie's hand away from her face. The makeup could only hide so much of the dark circles under her eyes, and morning sickness had made her skin paler.

"Well you're having a kid," Opie looked to the box again, "You shouldn't have all this on you." He took a step back seeing the approach of the other.

Kelly bit her lip, she could feel the tension from Opie turning to be faced with Jax, and since he became president she couldn't help but see the small changed in him. "Kelly…" Jax said glancing over his cousin. "You mind if I talk to Opie alone?"

"Yeah," Kelly getting on her tip toes lightly kissed Opie before walking to join the others, she paused taking a look back knowing the topic of conversation that she wasn't welcome in.

Chibs pulled Kelly towards him, even if he could feel her pulling away from prospecting; he knew that she needed the club close. Kelly was feeling more like a daughter to him as he felt her relaxing into his arms avoiding Juice.

Since that morning of them disagreeing about Juice helping Clay, Kelly couldn't tell him the reasons. The whole club was still thinking that Niners were behind the attacks, they still thought Mexicans killed Piney. So Kelly closed her eyes trying to calm herself, but looking over to see Opie's mother with Kenny and Ellie. "I need to…" Kelly pointed over to see the look on the small groups face.

Chibs nodded letting Kelly walk away, his attention on Juice feeling he had to speak. "You okay?" He asked trying to keep calm to his voice that was showing his concern for the couple.

"She's having problems." Juice exhaled seeing Kelly console Ellie, he brushed a hand against head feeling the breeze. "I've tried to get through, but she's just been keeping me at arm's length."

Chibs shook his head, "She needs time."

"It's been over a month, she's getting colder every day." Juice could see that everyone was watching him now; he placed his hands in his pockets. "This morning I thought I was getting through, but…"

The silence floated in the air, Chibs couldn't think what to say, but since everything from last night he didn't want to tell Juice anything to make matters worse. "Well she's expecting son, she's going to be all over with her emotions."

Walking slowly over Kelly tried to keep calm, "I've spoken to Mary, and she's looking after Ellie and Kenny." Kelly kept her attention on Juice, "So I'm going to head to Gemma's, see if she's okay."

"You want me to come with you?" Juice asked looking over Kelly's face; he tried to keep safe distance. The feeling that Kelly wasn't herself.

With a shake of her head, Kelly lifted a finger to her mouth chewing on her thumb nail, she was still feeling the edge of not smoking, and everything she could do to be good. "I know you're gonna be helping Clay, so I'll call you tonight." Kelly's voice drifted off, she started to search the cemetery for Gemma, or even sight of Clay. Did Clay even have the nerve to show his face?

The awkwardness hung in the air, Kelly starting to walk towards the exit, but stopped feeling Chibs holding her shoulder, "You want to talk. You know I am always here."

Kelly let a small smile slip, "I'm just not used to feeling like this." Her hand lifted, "I never saw myself being the mummy." Taking a step back Kelly now walked away.

* * *

Gemma could still feel his presence, even after he was long gone. Her hand brushing against the sheets of the bed remembering everything, but her eyes went over her hand remembering all the things that made everything harder to forgive.

Closing her eyes Gemma brushed her hand over her eyes; she opened them seeing Kelly standing in the doorway. "What brings you here darling?"

"You weren't at Piney's send off," Kelly said walking into the room; she stood in front of Gemma looking down on her aunt. "I'm worried about you."

Letting a small laugh escape her lips Gemma glanced up to Kelly, "Sweetheart, you've got nothing to worry about." Her voice was telling a different story, but she felt Kelly sitting on the end of the bed beside her. The feeling of Kelly's hand slipping into hers made her heart feel tighter in her chest.

"You say that Gemma," Kelly whispered softly, "But I don't believe it." Her eyes meeting her aunt's, the worst of it all is that Kelly felt like a cork in a bottle around Gemma. "I'm going to the club house, so I was just checking in on you."

"I'm fine Darling, you should worry more about yourself," Gemma squeezed Kelly's hand. "You're gonna be a mother soon." Her free hand touched Kelly's stomach.

Kelly bit her lip, her eyes going over the faint marks of where Clay beat her, they were hardly noticeable, but she knew they were there. "How do you do it Gemma?"

"Do what?" Gemma felt confused looking to Kelly, the look in her niece's eyes scared her.

"Keep so many secrets," Kelly let Gemma's hand go. "You keep so many, but it doesn't seem to eat at you." Getting to her feet Kelly brushed a hand over her stomach.

For a minute Gemma really looked at Kelly, her face looked worn out, her skin sickly, but most of all her eyes were faded. "Darling, you just find a way to justify why you hide things from people. I do it for family."

"Family…" Kelly laughed, "I guess it's the only good thing worth lying for." Her hand brushed some of her hair behind her ear, Kelly didn't really like keeping secrets, but at the moment it wasn't right to share. "I just hope you get your shit together Gemma." Walking out the door Kelly didn't even look back closing the bedroom door behind her.

Gemma bit her lip, her hands covering her face for a few seconds, she didn't like how her life was going, but for this moment, she was just going to have to keep taking it a day at a time.

* * *

Kelly pulled into the lot behind Jax and Bobby, she smiled parking up her car looking to everyone excited to see Bobby out of lock up. She walked over giving Bobby a hug and smile; he glanced over her with a laugh.

"You've gotten big!" Bobby joked; he couldn't help himself rubbing a hand over her hair with his eyes going to Juice as he came over to greet him. "Our Juicy boy's gonna be a dad!" he laughed even more seeing Kelly's face flush over.

"How you been?" Kelly kept in sync with Bobby walking towards the club house, her eyes going over to Roosevelt, then back to Juice wondering what they could have been talking about.

Bobby smiled, "Well finally getting out, but you'll hear more later." He kissed the top of Kelly's head; he glanced around the club house feeling at home. "But I need a beer," His eyes studying Kelly.

"I'll get you that." She felt at ease going to the bar.

Juice watched Kelly, but it wasn't long until he felt Chibs's hand on his shoulder. "You going to talk to her?" He asked watching Kelly getting a beer for Bobby.

"I will, it's just she's been on edge," Juice didn't know why Kelly was, it was only since Piney died that she had been so wound up in herself. "But I guess I'll have to talk about it."

"I hope so too lad, just a very important for her to be calm, don't want her getting upset." Chibs laughed, "She's going to be very difficult with the baby in tow."

Bobby stuck his head in, "Very important you don't piss her off, a pregnant woman is a scary one when angry." He lightly slapped Juice's arm, "How far is she?"

Juice thought for a second, he felt he wasn't that good on keeping track. It wasn't long before Kelly was over handing Bobby the beer, "I'm about twenty weeks, so me and Juan are going to find out if it's a boy or girl soon." She smiled rubbing a hand against her stomach.

"Well can just hope for a little boy." Bobby joked rubbing Kelly's belly, he glanced up to her. "You're gonna make a great mom." He looked to Jax standing behind them. "Guess we've got church."

Jax nodded, "Kelly can tell you all about being knocked up after." He reached over brushing his hand into Kelly's hair, "You don't have to worry about Abel and Thomas today, Tara's signed them into day care."

"I know, she text me yesterday." Kelly waved her phone with a smile, "I have an appointment today anyway." She got to her feet heading to the bar.

Watching everyone going into the chapel, Kelly felt weird looking over to Georgie behind the bar, she was happy for Phil to be patched in, but part of her didn't know if she envied him or not. Being pregnant wasn't helping her prospecting, but even more she didn't really feel like she was a prospect anymore.

"You feeling okay?" Georgie asked looking over Kelly's face.

"I'm fine," Kelly exhaled, "Just it's been a long few weeks, I mean it really feels like." She stopped turning to face Georgie, "I'm rambling."

Georgie handed her a glass of water, he laughed. "You do that a lot lately." He didn't want to sound rude, but he knew that Kelly had a lot on her plate. "But after the baby's born, you gonna carry on, or just be full time old lady?"

Kelly did a double take, "Full time old lady?" Rolling her eyes she took a sip of the water, "I don't like the sound of that." She felt her gaze going to the door seeing Clay. Her face dropped watching him walking towards the chapel. He didn't even have the nerve to look her in the face, but she knew he knew. The fact since Opie shot Clay, Kelly couldn't really look at him, she knew he was the reason John Teller was dead, that Gemma was hiding so much about it. Plus keeping this secret on top of Juice's was giving her a headache most of the time.

Georgie felt the cold chill of Kelly's stare at the chapel, he didn't know what was wrong, but everyone knew that Kelly had suddenly been put off of Clay. Mostly they thought it was due to the beating he gave Gemma, others just putting it down to her being pregnant.

"So, you're finding out if it's a boy or girl?" Georgie asked trying to calm the mood; he watched her turning slowly to face him, her eyes still looking flat. "I mean, do you want to know?"

Kelly inhaled, "I want to know, I'm not one for surprises, plus it's easier to pick a name." Placing the glass of water back on the bar, she brushed her hands over her stomach listening to the noise from the chapel; it seemed that everyone was cheering something on.

"When Juice comes out, just let him know I'm heading to Saint Thomas, so I'll just see him later." Kelly moved off the bar stool, her attention back to the chapel before walking out the club house.

* * *

The walk to the day care was relaxing, for the most of today Tara didn't like training her replacement. It was the fact that right now all she wanted to do was pick her boys up and take them home. Her hands resting in her lab coat made the walk seem more her pace, stopping to see Kelly walking towards the day care from the opposite angle.

Kelly smiled seeing Tara, "Hey…" She held her arms out.

Tara relaxed, even with everything buzzing in her head, she felt Kelly's embrace and relaxed, "I wasn't expecting to see you here?" Pulling away Tara glanced over Kelly, even if she only saw her the other day; she kept forgetting she really was pregnant. "How is everything?"

"Good, baby's heart is good, I have been told to calm down." Kelly brushed some hair behind her ear, "High blood pressure." She added while tapping her heart.

Tara nodded, "Yeah, I guess they worry about that, but you really should take it easy." Her eyes were now looking down the hallway behind Kelly. "No Juice with you?"

"No, I rather do this solo, I mean he comes to the sonograms, and he'll get excited about seeing the baby, but I don't want him knowing…" Kelly bit her lip, "It's just shit that's been happening, and if he knew this on top, it would push him too far."

Tara brushed a hand into Kelly's hair, "I know what you mean." Her eyes were searching Kelly's. "I should let you know I've put you on the list with the day care, so if you're here for an appointment, and want to see them you can." Her smile was a little more convincing as she looked to the door.

"Yeah," Kelly glanced into the day care, she now pushed the door seeing Abel sitting at a table colouring, "Hey little man." Kelly waved to Abel, who had now spotted her with a giggle.

Tara looked to one of the carers, "This is Kelly Madock, she's on the approved visitors," Her voice was low, "This means she's aloud to see the boys?"

"Yes, as long as we know who she is, she can sign in," The carer smiled, "Taking them home?"

Tara broke into a smile, "Yes, it has been a long day…" She reached over for the sign out sheet, her eyes going to Kelly now playing with Abel. Tara couldn't help but wonder what life was going to be like after Kelly's baby is born, if Gemma would get her fingers into Kelly's child.

"Okay," Kelly held her arms out, Abel wrapping his arms around Kelly's neck he felt her lifting him up. "You are going to tell me all about your fun first day."

Tara smiled after being handed Thomas; she couldn't help but admire Kelly with Abel, listening to Abel telling Kelly all the things he did that day. It was a big step for Tara, but she was happy she made the decision to putting the boys into day car.

"How did you get here Kelly?" Tara asked walking to the exit with Thomas now in his stroller, Kelly still holding Abel, he was hugging her with his eyes closing.

Kelly lifted Abel up more, her hands supporting him carefully. "I drove; Juan isn't all that comfortable with me riding now I'm showing." Her eyes were going to her stomach. "Why you ask?"

"Well if you want, you can come home with me in my car, get one of the prospects to pick your car up." Her voice was confident. In all Tara's life, she never thought she'd hear herself talk this way, but looking over Kelly, it was just something they were used to.

Kelly laughed, "That sounds perfect. We can fix dinner up for Jax." Her voice was odd to Tara.

"Well you can phone Juice, see if he wants to come." Tara watched Kelly opening the door to the parking lot, her arm still holding Abel strong.

Kelly shrugged, "Na, he is going to be busy with Clay…" Kelly's tone was bitter, and Tara knew that bitterness from her own feelings. "He's helping him move, and he's a ride and I honestly…" Kelly bit her lip, she glanced to Tara feeling like she was giving too much away. "I just can't."

"It's okay." Tara brushed a hand down Kelly's back, "It's going to be okay."

Kelly felt a small relief getting to Tara's car, helping putting Thomas and Abel in the car seats, her hands went to her purse to make sure everything was inside. Getting in the front passenger seat, Kelly could tell that Tara had been busy also, but mostly just getting over the fact of Jax's new position at the table was affecting everything in her life.

Pulling into the driveway, Kelly got out first getting Abel from the car; she glanced to see Tara taking Thomas out while the both held a sleeping boy. Kelly carried Abel to his bedroom getting him ready for bed, but she knew Gemma was in Thomas room helping Tara, Kelly placing Abel into bed turning his night light on before turning the main light off, she glanced to Tara watching Gemma saying goodnight to Thomas.

"He's congested; he needs a humidifier in there." Gemma spoke, her walk towards the lounge with Tara behind. Kelly followed in silence.

Tara felt her jaw tighten, "It's not a dry cough. A humidifier won't work." Her voice was factual, and it made Kelly nervous as she tried to move away from the two women.

Watching Gemma putting things back into her purse, "And they don't need to be in day care, we take care of our own."

"They need to socialise with other children." Tara pointed out, her eyes going over to Kelly thinking how she never really socialised much growing up, and she didn't want that to affect her boys. "And let's be honest, I don't think you're up for the task."

Gemma felt insulted, her eyes watching Tara, "Excuse me?"

"You have every right to be distracted; you've been through a lot." Tara carried on, but even she could see Kelly behind Gemma looking really nervous.

"Just say what you mean." Gemma butted in, she got closer to Tara.

Tara knew this wasn't going to be easy, "I smell weed and alcohol on your breath every morning." Her eyes shifted to Kelly, but knew that she wouldn't speak up against Gemma.

"I don't smoke or drink in the morning!" Gemma pointed out, her eyes going back to see Kelly standing there looking awkward, "And don't get her into this!"

"I am not getting Kelly into this, and I am a doctor Gemma, I know how long alcohol and drugs stay in your system," Her voice steadying itself, "And until you pull it together, I don't want you alone with my boys."

"Really? Does Jax feel the same way?" Gemma watched Tara, she couldn't believe this.

Tara straightened up, "I haven't told him, but he knows you're not yourself."

Kelly felt a wave of relief as the front door opened. Tara greeting Jax, Bobby hugging Gemma. Leaving Chibs to give Kelly a hug, he kissed her forehead. "Everything okay with the baby?" He asked brushing his palm against her stomach.

Kelly nodded, "Little kicker is doing great, Docs just want to keep close eye on its heart." Her eyes going to Bobby was heading towards the boys rooms. "But I'm hoping for the best." Her voice trailed off hearing Gemma's phone go off.

Kelly kept close to Chibs, she watched and listened to the exchange of conversation, but deep down with the expression on Jax's face, she knew it wasn't good.

"Now what?" Tara snapped out, but even in that moment, the same thought was going through everyone's mind that wasn't part of the phone conversation.

Jax hung the phone up; he looked to Chibs, finally Bobby walking back into the room. "There is a warrant out for me, Chibs and Tig."

"Shit!" Kelly felt the words slip out, "This…" Her hands going to her pockets feeling like she was having a weird dream.

Chibs brushed an arm around Kelly, he pulled her close giving her a side hug, his attention going to Jax. "So what's the plan Jackie boy?"

Jax exhaled, heading towards the kitchen, everyone followed in suit, sitting down at the table Kelly glanced to Tara, plus Gemma. This wasn't how she imagined her evening going, but she knew this was serious business.

Everything felt like underwater to Kelly, her eyes watching the conversation, but everything seems like muffled blur of words.

It wasn't until Jax's voice rose that Kelly knew the seriousness of it all, her eyes turning when Gemma spoke. "I know where you can do, you'll be safe."

"Okay." Jax said after a long moment of silence, getting to his feet he felt Tara holding onto him. She didn't like this, he could hear it in her voice, "If we go in now we're dead, we just need to buy some time." He gave her a kiss, "You stay here and take care of our boys. I'll call you with more news." He brushed his hands into her hair walking away.

Kelly bit her lip looking towards Tara; she didn't like this, but inhaled. "I think I am gonna go to the club house." She felt her stomach drop, but knew the prospect brought her car back, that was sitting in the driveway.

Tara nodded, "I think that's best." Her voice was cold hearing the bikes driving away.

Kelly took one look back before picking up her purse; she headed out of the house feeling a sinking sensation in her stomach. While the day was over, the trouble was just starting.


	2. Quick choices

**AN:  
**It's been a while, and I know it's kinda crazy that I just haven't been that good at updating, I've gone through more jobs that hot dinners, and am fiding it hard to find the time to write, but I am hoping to change that so, here is the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy and I will be right on writing Chapter three, which will be the hardest to get through, cos gotta rewatch episode three of season five...

* * *

**Chapter two  
**_Quick choices  
_

* * *

Pulling her car into the lot Kelly could see Opie, he just put a for sale sign on Piney's bike. The fact he was doing this made the pit of Kelly's stomach drop as she opened the car door stepping out to be face to face with Opie.

"You're selling his bike?" Kelly's voice was a low whisper, she could see Juice standing outside the club house watching her closely, and she didn't really know what to say to him. Mainly the fact she had been avoiding him most of the day.

Opie turned to look over something he never really want to look at again, his attention back to Kelly. "I've got no use for it." He rubbed under his nose looking to the exit, and his eyes slowly went onto Kelly again. "I've got nothing left to keep me here."

"What about Jax? What about me?" Kelly's eyes welling up, she was getting sick of being emotional about everything, but watching Opie, it hurt to think of him leaving.

"I…" Opie brushed a hand into his hair; he could tell this wasn't going to be easy, so he rested a hand on Kelly's shoulder looking into her eyes. "I'm sorry, but it's just not easy." He exhaled finally, and then brushed his lips against her forehead.

Closing her eyes Kelly felt like something wasn't right, her heart sinking further into her stomach while she kept her eyes closed holding onto Opie.

Feeling him letting go, Kelly opened her eyes to see Opie's face, but shortly the shadow of Juice approaching them quickly. "Hey, I didn't expect to see you here?" Juice's voice was calm, his attention to Opie. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just leaving." Opie turned to Kelly brushing his hand against her arm; he didn't smile, but just brought his hand to her cheek brushing his fingers under her chin. "I think you should get some sleep." He turned back to Juice with a serious expression. "With the home invasions, don't let her be home alone at night."

Juice nodded quickly, his arm moving around Kelly pulling her closer to his chest. "I won't let her out of my sight."

Kelly tried to keep a natural face, but with Juice spending so much time with Clay, she didn't want to be anywhere near him. "Night Opie…" Kelly watching him heading for his bike, it wasn't long before she couldn't see him at all, but worst of all she knew he wasn't going to be the same after this.

"Are you ready to go home?" Juice asked watching Kelly staring after Opie.

Kelly blinked before looking to Juice, "Not right now, I have some things to sort out at the club house." Her voice was dry as she stepped away from Juice.

"I know why you hate Clay Kelly!" Juice didn't mean to shout it across the lot, but he felt some satisfaction when she turned to face him looking confused. "Clay, he told the club what he did, what you saw…" He inhaled walking closer to her. He'd never seen this kind of sadness in her eyes, but he stopped in front of her. "He said he got into a fight with Piney, it was self-defence."

"Yeah, if that's what Clay said…" Kelly inhaled, "I found Piney."

"What?" Juice didn't know what to say, he watched as a few tears trickle down the side of Kelly's face.

Kelly nodded, she pushed her hand under her eyes brushing her tears, her face staring at Juice, "Yeah, he was dead, and Clay can paint it anyway he wants, but I don't believe it. I will never believe a word he says, cos he is a selfish, despicable human being."

"So that is how you feel about Clay?" Juice tried to keep a straight face, "The man who helped you after everything, the one who took you in." He rubbed his nose. "You're just going to throw all that back in his face?"

Kelly let out a dry laugh, "You don't get it!" Kelly shook her head, "You…" Her finger pointed in his face, "I can't right now." She turned heading for her car, she didn't know where she was going to go, but she didn't want to be here.

"Kelly!" Juice placed his hands on the door, he knew she'd locked it, but his eyes couldn't stop staring at her. "Please Kelly. Please open the door." His voice was pleading to her.

Kelly turned her attention to the window, she could see his face looking over her, "No," Kelly listening to his phone ringing, he didn't ignore it and in that second she drove out of the lot not looking back.

"Clay. Now isn't…." Juice started, but was quickly cut off.

"There was a break in at mine and Gemma's place, I need to be there?" Clay said quickly down the phone.

Juice closed his eyes, he glanced back to the van, "Okay, I'll be there in a few." He hung up the phone knowing he wasn't going to be seeing Kelly for a while now.

* * *

Tara put out the joint, she kept looking over to George sitting on the sofa, he was only here to protect her and the boys, but the more she saw him sitting there, the lonelier she really felt.

George jumped at the sound of the front door opening, his gun ready pointed as he quickly put it down seeing Kelly. "God damn it!" He relaxed. "What are you doing here?"

Tara got to her feet looking over Kelly, "Is everything okay?" She sounded worried walking closer to Kelly, her hands brushing her arm; she didn't like the look on her face. "Kelly…"

"We need to talk Tara," Her eyes going to George. "Alone would be better."

"Okay, we'll go into my room." Her eyes going from Kelly to George, "Just keep an eye out okay." Her voice was soothing walking towards her room with Kelly behind her.

Shutting the door Tara inhaled and exhaled sitting on the bed looking up to Kelly, "So what brings you here?" Her hands resting on the bed, she watched Kelly sitting beside her. The look on Kelly's face told Tara that she wasn't happy, so Tara lightly placed her hand on her thigh looking at her seriously. "What happened?"

Kelly laughed, "I don't know, I just." Her hand touched Tara's. "Juan, he's all defending Clay, and I can't tell him anything!"

"I heard Clay told the club about Piney, and that Opie shot him." Tara looked away for a second and back to Kelly, "But for this to work, we can't let anyone know what we know, not until the club is away from the cartel, until we know that it's safe."

"Safe! It's never going to be safe, and my boyfriend is playing Nurse to the man who is responsible for all of this!" Kelly bit her lip, "I can't even look at Juan without feeling the need to be sick." Her eyes closed feeling like the world was crashing in around her. "I just can't…"

Tara couldn't stand to see Kelly like this, with her good arm reaching out; she pulled Kelly into a hug. She felt the other woman breaking into tears as she held her close, the feeling of Kelly crying was enough to make her want to cry herself, but she held it in comforting Kelly.

"It's going to be okay Kelly, me and Jax are going to be here for you." Tara whispered softly, her hands brushing down Kelly's hair, she could feel her still sobbing, but worst of it all was knowing that this had to end.

Keeping her eyes closed, Kelly felt tired, she pulled back looking to Tara, "Is it okay if I crash here tonight, I just don't think I can go back to mine and Juan's place."

"Yeah, I guess I'll need to fill you in on what's going on." Tara inhaled, "Some witnesses have come forward about what happened with that girl Tig killed, and they pinned Tig, with Jax and Chibs."

"Shit!" Kelly looked over Tara's face, "So what are they doing?"

"Gemma's taken them to a safe place; I'm going to be meeting with the Lawyer in the morning…" Tara bit her lip. "I can't have Jax inside again. I just can't."

"Hey, hey…" Kelly brushed her hands into Tara's hair, "You work this out, and tomorrow I will be with the boys." Her eyes were looking over Tara's. "I will make sure they are okay, you take care of your man."

"You sure about that?" Tara asked looking over Kelly.

Kelly let a small smile slip, her hand brushing against Tara's cheek, "I can look after two little boys for a few hours, plus I gotta get the practice in."

Tara laughed, "Okay, but I am hoping this can be fixed soon." Her eyes looking to the door, she kept getting a feeling that it wasn't going to be getting better.

* * *

Sitting at a table at the club house Kelly was feeding Thomas, Abel in a high chair eating something. The whole morning Kelly didn't have a single clue what was going on. Holding Thomas close to her chest, she could see Juice walking into the club house, he caught sight of her and within seconds he was in front of her.

"You didn't come home last night, I was worried about you." Juice kneeled down to Kelly's level, his hand touching Thomas head while he was feeding. "What's wrong with us Kelly?"

"I don't know," Kelly stop feeding Thomas; she sat him up on her knee trying to concentrate on him. "But there has to be a reason you're worried."

"Yeah, Gemma and Clay's place got broken in last night, also Tig…"

"I know about the arrest warrant." Kelly cut him off getting to her feet putting Thomas in a car seat; she turned to see the look of dread on Juice's face. "What?"

"It's Dawn." Juice's voice was mellow, his eyes looking over Kelly's face. "That girl Tig killed trying to get to Leroy, it was some hot shot gangster guy named Damon Pope's daughter. Last night he got revenge by making Tig watch him burn Dawn alive."

Kelly's face suddenly drained of all colour, her eyes wide, "What?" Her voice shaken up, "Tig, where is he?" Her voice was shaken even more, her hands going to her hair trying to calm herself.

"A safe place, I had to come here to get a few things, and then we're going to find Fawn." His hand brushed over Kelly's shoulder, he felt her normal hesitation, but pulled her into his arms holding her. He could feel her arms wrap around him trying her hardest not to cry. "Do you want me to take you to Tara?" He asked in a low whisper.

Kelly pulled away nodding, "We can take the boys, I think Jax will want to spend as much time with them before…" Her eyes looking red, Kelly looked up to Juice. "I never was the best of friends with Dawn, but I would never have wished that kind of death on anyone." Her head shook. "You taking your bike, I'll follow you with the car."

"Yeah…" Juice felt his hand touching her face, her eyes looking back at him and it was hard for him to even contemplate looking away. "I love you."

Kelly nodded, "I know baby," Kelly lightly kissed him, his hand moving into her hair not wanting to let her go. "I love you." She whispered pulling away looking to Abel and Thomas, "you help me put them in the car?"

Juice picked the car seat up; he smiled looking to Abel wrapping his arms around Kelly, "Today seems to be a little crazy…"

"You can say that again." Kelly felt Abel holding onto her tighter, she glanced to the car seeing Juice putting Thomas in the back seat, and it didn't take long to have the boys safely placed in the car, Kelly smiling to Juice. "I'll follow you, but tonight we need to talk."

For a second Juice felt worry sink into his stomach, "What about?"

"The apartment, we have a lot to do before the baby arrives…" Kelly touched her stomach, "I'm going to need you back." Her voice was serious, but Juice knew no matter what he did, it seemed he would end up doing something to upset her and she wouldn't tell him what it was.

* * *

Tara inhaled looking to the door open, "What are you doing here?" Her shocked expression was on Kelly walking through the door with Abel and Juice behind her with Thomas. "You brought my boys to a brothel."

"Well in my defence I didn't know this was a brothel, and two I would have thought Juan would have told me." Kelly's eyes went towards Juice with a small glare.

Tara's eyes also went to Juice, "well since you're here." Her voice was soft taking Thomas from Juice, then looking to Abel being put down.

"Daddy!" Abel shouted running into Jax's arms, Jax holding him up giving him a hug looking from Tara to Kelly.

Kelly looked to Jax, "I'm sorry, if I'd known what this place was." She paused for a second looking around the smart modern looking lounge; she never thought a brothel would look like this. "This is a whore house?"

Jax laughed, he brushed his hand against Kelly's cheek, "Yes." He gave Abel a kiss and passed him to Kelly. "I need to talk with Tara." He gave her a knowing look.

"Yeah, sure…" Kelly's eyes went from Abel to Jax. "Where's Tig?" She asked with a soft voice, her eyes looking around trying to find someone she who's world was falling apart.

Jax quickly pointed, "Over there." His voice was blunt, but it seemed like it was important for him to tell her. "Gemma was here a while ago, but then she had to go check her house out."

"Another home invasion, Juan told me." Kelly shifted Abel on her hip, her eyes going over his face. "How bad is he?"

"Like his world is being ripped apart from the seams, his bad." Jax smiled to Abel watching him carefully. "You be a good boy for Kelly." He gave him one more kiss before heading over to Tara.

Kelly glanced to Bobby taking Abel away from her, "He needs someone." His head tilted over to Tig sitting alone on a sofa staring out into space.

It didn't take Tig long to see Kelly standing above him, his eyes going from her stomach to her face, "Hey…" his voice was rough; it was easy to see that he wasn't going to be big with conversation.

Kelly sat beside him, she couldn't think, it was enough knowing that Dawn was dead, but to see the look on Tig's face, to know that his heart was aching with the knowledge that if he didn't go after Leroy, he wouldn't have seen his own daughter burnt alive.

Tig felt Kelly sitting down, her eyes looked over his. "You wasn't that close with Dawn?" His eyes connected with Kelly's.

"We weren't best of friends, but then again I never hated her." Kelly bit her lip, "I just can't see…" Her hand brushed under her eyes trying to keep calm. "Tig, you'll get revenge."

Tig brushed a hand over Kelly's face, "Right now, I just want to protect Fawn." He watched everyone getting ready to leave, but he paused to watch Kelly. "I'll make sure you're safe too."

"I know…" Kelly watched Juice coming over, he glanced to Tig before focused back to Kelly. "You be safe…"

Tig brushed a kiss on the top of Kelly's forehead. "I will."

Watching the guys leaving Kelly could see Tara sitting beside her, "I honestly didn't know." Kelly's eyes met Tara's. "Juan didn't tell me."

"I know, but I guess I'm happy my boys are here, even if they won't understand the meaning of today." Tara inhaled, "Jax asked me to marry him."

"I know." Kelly glanced over Tara's face.

Tara laughed, "Today."

"Like here? In a brothel?" Kelly did a double take, Tara just laughed, "Oh my god!"

Tara exhaled, for a second she knew what Kelly was thinking, but then it was hard for her to really take it in herself. "I know it's crazy, but then he wants me to be his wife."

"It's romantic, in an outlaw biker way." Kelly pulled Tara into a hug, "But you're going to need something awesome to wear, and oh!" Kelly waved her hand, "Oh so much." She got to her feet turning to face Tara. "I better do that."

Tara looked shocked for a second, her hands patting her legs before standing up, "But you know you don't need to do this?"

"I do." Kelly inhaled, "Plus I need to see Opie." Her voice dropped, her eyes looking around the place feeling awkward around all the other girls. "Plus I'm feeling oddly fat around these women."

Tara stood up placing her hands onto Kelly's shoulders. "You're not fat, you're expecting." Her eyes were looking deep into Kelly's. "Don't ever think that about yourself."

"Sorry, hormonal moment…" Kelly exhaled, "Okay, you need something awesome to wear, and I need to see Opie." With one more look at Tara Kelly now brushed a hand into Tara's hair. "You're going to be like my sister in-law."

* * *

Opie felt the saw in his hand, but he couldn't focus when he watched Clay leaving it was like a piece of his mind would never have peace. The peace would never come to him, like every time he'd try and find himself, he'd lose everything before he'd know what he had to do.

"Shit!" Opie's eyes looked up from the plank of wood; he felt his eyes going over Kelly as she stepped into the yard looking over the thing he was working on. "Is everyone visiting me today?"

"I don't know, what visitor number am I?" Kelly stepped closer, she sat down looking up to Opie, "Wanted to check in on you." Her eyes going over his face seeing the distance in his eyes.

Opie took out a smoke; he hesitated, but didn't offer Kelly one. It was hard to remember she was expecting. "I don't need checking on Kelly."

"Jax is getting married." Kelly blurted out, her eyes looking forward before turning to see Opie's reaction; it was hard to know what was flashing over his expression, so she continued. "And tonight at the club house, Tig, Chibs and Jax are going to turn themselves in. Go to Stockton and I have a bad feeling about it all." Her hand reached to her face, but froze feeling Opie's finger already brushing under her cheek.

"Shits hitting the fan," Opie got up, he turned to look at his house, the house that hadn't felt the same, he hadn't been the same since he lost everything the night he lost Donna. "Kelly, can you do me a favour?"

Kelly getting to her feet brushed some sawdust off her jeans; she rubbed her back before standing beside Opie. "You know I'd do anything I can." Her hand touching his hand, she held it in her own seeing how big his hand looked in comparison to her own.

"Yeah, you're too nice sometimes Kelly, way too nice." He let her hand go, but even if there was a giant hole in his life, he couldn't truly take it out on her, it wasn't anyone's fault that he felt the way he did. "But I am going to do everything I can to keep Jax safe, but you can't tell anyone, I mean it Kelly." He felt her eyes going to the ground.

Kelly laughed, "That's me, secret keeper." Her eyes looking up to Opie, "I mean with everything I am keeping. All these feelings." She felt like crying. "I just want to jump into my car and drive far away. But love keeps me here."

Opie wrapped his arms around Kelly; he pulled her close to his body hugging her. "I want you to do it," His words were strong, his hands working into her hair holding her close. "Kelly if you cared about your unborn baby, you'd leave this life."

Resting her head against his shoulder Kelly couldn't, as much as she wanted to go, she couldn't leave. So without saying a word she took a step back, her eyes going up to his with a warm smile. "Well I better get this dress to Tara; you want me to say anything to Jax?"

"Na, I think I'll just surprise him." Opie brushed the back of his hand over Kelly's cheek again; he gave a soft smile, taking in her face. "I've got a lot to sort out."

"I," Kelly started to say the words but stopped. "I'll see you later Ope."

Opie nodded, "I'll see you too." He watched her walking out the yard, but then he had a feeling he wasn't going to be saying much more to Kelly after this.

Getting back to her car Kelly took a glance back to the house, it was one thing walking away, but worst was this feeling eating up her inside. She opened the door getting inside, the car didn't feel the same, maybe she missed the feel of her bike, but she made a promise to not ride while pregnant, so this car was going to be stuck with her until she could ride again.

Starting up the engine, Kelly exhaled a long breath, her hands holding the wheel as she pulled away to head back to the brothel, everything in her head kept going over things she wanted to say to Opie, but even if there was a millions of things she could of said, she knew she wouldn't of said anything that could make her feel better than she did right now.

The drive wasn't long, and when Kelly stopped the car getting out, she could see Gemma's Cadillac parked. She quickly walked into the brothel ignoring all the pretty women as she found herself rushing into a bathroom. Her eyes going from Tara making herself look gorgeous, to Gemma who was holding two wedding rings.

"I'm guessing you knew," Gemma's attention turned to Kelly holding a dress. It was easy to tell Kelly's nervous face. "Don't worry sweetheart, she needs to be quick." Gemma stepped out of the room leaving Kelly and Tara alone.

"She maybe my aunt, kinda like mother figure, but she can scare the shit out of me." Kelly placed the dress down. "But good luck." She added heading for the door taking a quick minute to look back to Tara. "Welcome to the family."

Tara smiled, "I've been a part of it longer than I can remember." Her hand touched the simple dress, "But thank you Kelly." Her voice sincere, her whole life she wondered what her wedding day was going to be like. This wasn't it by miles, but it was the man she always knew she'd marry.

* * *

While Kelly sat on looking to Tara and Jax, she felt hands brushing around her shoulders. She knew Juice was standing right behind her, his fingers rubbing into the nap of her neck softly making her close her eyes for a brief second.

Juice didn't think today would be seeing this, but as his brushed his fingers against Kelly's shoulders he realised how much he needed everything to be okay. His eyes watching as Jax and Tara made a lifelong commitment to each other, he realised how he wanted that too. "Kelly…" Juice whispered slowly.

Kelly hearing Juice softly speak her name, she moved her face to get a better look at his, she could tell he was getting sentimental, "Yes Juan?" Her voice was a low whispered, it made Juice bring his face closer to hers so he could hear her better, and she could hear him.

"I want this." He spoke into her ear, he could see the sudden confusion brush over her face, her eyes going to Chibs speaking out about love, and her eyes went back to his. "I want us to be forever Kelly."

Kelly felt a small smile play on her lips, her eyes looking deeply into Juice's dark brown eyes. "I…" Her voice was calm, but in the back of her mind Kelly felt lost. "One day, but not now." Kelly placed her hand on top of Juice with a sigh, "I'm not ready to get married yet."

"Yea…" Juice said too quickly, "I mean, sure, but I want you to know I will keep asking." Juice felt his smirk spread over his face. "And you know I never give up."

"I hope you don't." Kelly leant up kissing him, and hearing the sound of everyone cheering the marriage of Jax and Tara.

Jax pulled away from kissing Tara to see Kelly, he felt a small pang for what was going to happen, he knew this was going to be the hardest thing to get through, but he turned back to Tara giving her another kiss, he was going to enjoy the moments before having to turn himself into the police.

"I have something I need to do," Jax whispered to Tara, "Before I go inside, so I want to meet you at the clubhouse." He exhaled; he placed his forehead against Tara's and breathing in deeply. "You do that?"

"Yes." Tara felt a lump in her throat, her eyes searching his, for a moment not wanting to let him go. "I'll meet you there." She felt his lips on hers, the feeling of his fingers in her hair making her stomach tighten with the fear of losing him.

* * *

The room felt still, even if people where around, it felt dead. The whole club house was in a state of limbo, three members of the club going inside, and the question was will they be coming out alive. Kelly felt her hand brushing over her stomach looking from Juice to Chibs. She knew this was going to be the hardest thing for her to witness, she never saw them go inside before, and she knew she didn't want to witness it again. Her hands moving over her swollen stomach to think of the life her little baby was going to have. Her eyes were going over the details of her hands against her belly.

"Oh 'right ladies our rides here…" Chibs spoke putting the shot glass down, he got up looking to Tig taking to Gemma, and he could feel someone suddenly holding onto him. "Lass…" Chibs sighed turning to see Kelly holding onto his side.

"Sorry, it's just." Kelly bit her lip looking up to him feeling her insides squirm, "Look after each other." Her voice was rough; Chibs could tell she was holding a lot back.

"You know I will." He brushed his hand against her cheek, "I want you looking after yourself, that baby needs to be born big and strong." He kissed her forehead letting her go looking to Juice. "You make sure she's taken care of you hear me." He pointed to Kelly's stomach. "You're gonna be a father, so you'll need to start maning up."

Kelly laughed, "Oh I will make sure he takes care of his business." Her hand going to her hip, she glanced to the door seeing that Roosevelt was showing the warrants, and she knew it was time stepping into the lot with everyone else to watch the guys go.

Opie pulling into the lot just in time, it was one of them moments that you never really saw coming. Kelly kept close to Gemma and Tara as Opie got into a fight, he punched Roosevelt in the face, also smacking another officer in the face with his elbow.

"What the hell is Opie doing?" Tara asked confused.

Gemma not phased at all by this act of aggression on Opie's behalf, looked serious. "He's staying close." Her voice was calm, her eyes not leaving the scene of the guys getting into the van, this was something that shouldn't happen again.

"Opie…" Kelly felt his name escape her lips, her fingers holding onto her stomach feeling like she couldn't stop feeling like something wasn't right, something was going to make her feel worse.

Juice could see the horror on Kelly's face, the van and police cars pulling off the lot, Tara walking off with Bobbie, he brushed a hand against Kelly's cheek. "I gotta do some things at Clays, you alright to get home?"

"I'm gonna be going to Tara's tonight." Kelly said bluntly, "She'll need someone." She added while trying to find the right way to express herself, but she was tired of trying to explain how much she didn't want anything to do with Clay, so she turned and walked away from Juice heading into the club house.

Juice watched, it was hard for him to understand, but as he could see the night sky was taking over, he shook his head heading to his bike to make sure everything was okay with Clay.


	3. Never say it

**AN:  
**know this chapter isn't super long, but I think it's the factor of next chapter is going to kill me, and I know that most of you know why. So I hope you enjoy and keep the lovely reviews coming my way =D

* * *

**Chapter three  
**_never say it  
_

* * *

Tara walked around the kitchen, she was getting used to George sitting around the living room, her hands holding onto a mug of green tea passing it to Kelly sitting at the kitchen table. "You know you don't have to stay here?" Her voice was comforting as she sat down with her own cup of coffee.

Kelly pulled the cup close to her chest, she fell asleep in the nursery, and Tara didn't have the heart to move her, but Kelly couldn't even start to explain why she didn't want to go home. "I didn't think you wanted to be alone." Kelly smiled, but it was harder for her to really smile when she felt like something wasn't right.

"I'm going to be fine," Tara reached across the table taking Kelly's hand, her eyes looking over the girl who'd grown up so much in the last few months. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"Not so much," Kelly rolled the cup in her hand; she glanced up to Tara's worried expression. "I don't like all the quality time Juan is spending with Clay, I don't trust Clay." For a second both Tara and Kelly's faces fell.

Tara exhaled, "Jax needs Clay alive."

"Yeah, the club." Kelly laughed, "Clay is only alive for a reason, Jax is going to find a way to make it work for him." For a moment Kelly paused. "But Juan saying that Clay just needs to be understood, it's like Clay is making Juan feel sorry for him."

"Something Clay is good at, manipulating the people around him." Tara glanced to see George was playing with Abel ignoring the conversation the two women were having. "But I have work today, plus taking the boys to day care."

"I have an appointment, plus I am going to try and get things sorted out in the nursery at my own home." Kelly exhaled, "I'm just hoping Juan isn't going to be there when I am." Her voice felt like it was trying to keep a level tone, but even Kelly could tell that Tara was seeing right through her.

Tara moved from her seat to stand beside Kelly, "You know I keep forgetting how alike you and Jax are." Tara smiled; she brushed a hand against Kelly's hair. "But you need to stop pushing away when you're scared someone is getting too close."

"I'm not scared…" Kelly now looked up to Tara, she looked down on Kelly with a serious expression now. "Okay maybe I push a little, but it's only because I don't like how he is all team Clay, even after finding out he killed Piney." Her words were harsh, but her eyes meet Tara's with a scared expression. "I just don't like that I know what Clay did, what he got away with. What he's still getting away with."

"I know, but Jax told us we need to keep this to ourselves until the time is right." Tara added looking like the queen she was becoming. "So for now we just need to sit tight, Clay will get what's coming to him."

Kelly slowly got to her feet; she glanced into the living room at Abel giggling with George. "I know, but it's the waiting that's killing me." Her eyes going back to Tara with a shrug, "Mind if I use your shower?"

"Yeah, sure." Tara watched Kelly leaving the kitchen; she now looked to Abel with a smile. "I'm going to get Tomas up, and then I'm going to take them to day care before I start my shift."

George looked up, "Sure, anything you need me to do?" He asked, but Tara could hear the tone the prospects and crow eaters give her. The tone was of respect that she was the president's wife, and should be respected.

Tara simply picked up the cups from the table placing them in the sink, "No, just go make sure everything is okay at the club house." She headed to the nursery, it was still weird for her to have all these people look up to her, but she was getting the hang of it.

* * *

Gemma felt like her blood was boiling under her skin, she didn't like this one little bit. The worst of it all was she was told she had to have consent to visit her own grandkids. Walking out of the hospital, she paused to see Kelly standing in the parking lot. "Hey!" She called grabbing Kelly's attention from her phone. "What brings you here?"

"Baby stuff," Kelly made her way over to her aunt, she paused. "I saw your little kick up at the day care." She added while brushing her hands into her pockets feeling on the spot. "I didn't know Tara didn't put you on the list."

"Yeah, I saw you've got her permission to see the boys." Gemma spat out, her eyes going over the look of horror on Kelly's face. "I didn't mean it like that darling…"

"I know how you meant it Gemma." Kelly took her hands from her pockets folding them across her chest. "But I am worried, I mean…" She reached a hand over looking to the love bites on Gemma's skin. "It's like since everything that's happened. You've just let yourself go."

Gemma moved Kelly's hand away, her eyes studying over her niece with curiosity, "You don't need to worry about me sweetheart." Her voice was smooth, her hand brushing against Kelly's cheek. "I've spent all my life taking care of myself."

Kelly let out a sigh, her hand reached out taking hold of her aunts, "Maybe you just need someone to take care of you for once." Her hand dropped Gemma's, but Kelly smiled. "Plus Tara is just thinking of what is best for the boys right now."

"I know, but I am sure that I will be on that list on way or another." Gemma smiled, "What you plan on doing today?"

"Right now, I am free as a bird, so I might go home and fix some things in the nursery." Kelly laughed, "I know it's a bit too soon, but I really need to find something to keep myself busy, or I might lose my mind."

Gemma smiled, "Well I have some things to take care of, so when that is done." Her hand reached down touching Kelly's belly. "We'll spend some time together."

"Yeah," Kelly smiled back; she placed her hand over Gemma's feeling maybe this was the turning point, that her aunt was getting better. "I'd like that a lot."

"Good, I'll swing by your place and pick you up…" Her hand finally letting go of Kelly's belly, she walked over to her car seeing Kelly going to her own. She knew that she needed to do whatever it took to get to see her boys; she wasn't going to let Tara get the upper hand.

Kelly got into her car, she glanced back to see Gemma already leaving, but she felt something wrong. As she pulled out of the parking lot, she felt herself tailing Gemma. It was a good thing she knew how to do this without Gemma knowing she was being followed. Maybe it was Kelly's new found ability to not trust people, or that something with her aunt would always make her worry what she was going to do to get her own way. Kelly read the letters, and she knew fully well what Gemma was capable of.

While the drive wasn't that long, she knew the destination before even getting out of the car, she sat in the car looking as Gemma went into the social centre, and it was like she could understand everything that was going through Gemma's head. It wasn't long before Gemma was walking out with a smirk on her face, but Kelly picked up her phone dialling Gemma's number.

"Hey darling, you okay?" Gemma's voice was happy, too happy for Kelly's liking.

Kelly inhaled, "I'm not feeling that good, I'm going to head back to hospital to make sure everything is okay." She paused; she could see a flash of panic wash over Gemma's face.

"The baby's okay?" Gemma's voice was concern, and Kelly knew it would be.

"I think so; meet you at the hospital, instead of my place?" Kelly held her breath; she closed her eyes for a second.

"Sure darling, just make sure everything is okay." Gemma hung the phone up heading to her car, and Kelly exhaled watching her drive away before getting out her own car heading into the centre to bump right into Wendy.

Wendy paused; she glanced over the face looking worried, "I'm so sorry…" She spoke, but paused looking close to the girl staring at her bewildered. "Oh my god Kelly!"

"Wendy…" Kelly regained her balanced, "You look so…"

"Old, I know!" Wendy laughed.

"No I was going to say healthy." Kelly took a step back, "Last time I ever saw you, you'd look like shit and well, you looked like shit." Kelly shrugged trying to think of making herself seem like a nicer person than she used to be.

"And the last time I saw you, you was a little hell beast who hated everyone." Wendy gave her a looking over, "But you've changed, are you?"

"Yeah, pregnant, I wasn't planning it at all, but I guess I'm gonna be a mother." Kelly exhaled, "But I'm not that hateful person anymore."

Wendy smiled, "I'm happy to know that, but I've been clean and sober." She paused looking into Kelly's eyes. "And I want to tell you that I am sorry for the way I acted when I was in that part of my life."

Kelly took a step back, her hands reaching out taking hold of Wendy's arms, "I'm sorry too." Kelly felt honest for once, "I wasn't the nicest of kids, and even if, well. I didn't make it easy for you."

"Kelly, you was just looking out for Jax, even as a little kid, you're always going to love him and Opie like brothers." Wendy then looked confused. "But what brings you here?"

"I was kinda following Gemma, I've been worried about her for a few weeks." Kelly exhaled, "Family drama and all."

"Oh, so you know?" Wendy felt like she wasn't sure what was going on, but she needed to know some kind of truth.

Kelly shrugged, "I am sure that whatever is going on, it's going to be complicated." Her hands letting go of Wendy finally, "But I guess I am just trying so hard to have a family that isn't tearing each other apart."

Wendy laughed, "Well I am going to go, but if you ever want to catch up. Just to talk, I am always free." Wendy handed Kelly a business card before leaving the centre, and Kelly exhaled looking down to the fact that Wendy was now a drug councilor and she had a bad feeling about why Gemma was here in the first place.

* * *

While the walked into Saint Tomas was easy, Kelly watched Tara walking with Tomas looking upset. Kelly felt like she knew the reason. "Everything okay?"

"Gemma went to Wendy; she told Wendy that I have a drug problem." Tara laughed, "And I can't believe that she…" Tara held a hand up, "No I can believe she would do this!"

"I think I know," Kelly exhaled, "I followed Gemma to where Wendy works." Kelly now took a step back, "But I don't even understand why would Gemma snoop that low?"

"Kelly, I am sorry, I know you love Gemma. I love Gemma. But I can't stand her constant meddling in my life, which she keeps trying to put herself in charge of my family." Tara exhaled, "Kelly, I really don't want to pull you into the middle, but if I can say anything to you right now." Tara glanced behind herself. "Don't let her control you."

Kelly felt on the spot, she bit her lip trying to think of the right thing to say. "I don't let anyone control me." She now shook her head, "Even if I am going to be scared, and mostly trying to work out what is making my family so fragile, but I am not going to give up on anyone."

"I know," Tara tapped Kelly's arm, "But remember you're not alone." Tara now walked away leaving Kelly standing in the hallway.

Gemma didn't even noticed when she walked right into Kelly knocking her forward, "Sorry sweetheart, there is a problem." Gemma paused to look over Kelly's face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'll come with you." Kelly now moved her purse on her arm looking over Gemma's face. "What's wrong?"

"Clay. He's gone to Nero's place, and I have to go and sort shit out before it hits the fan." Gemma's voice sounded exhausted. "You're more than welcome to come alone, since you're old man is with him." Gemma held onto Kelly's arm pulling her to the exit with her.

Gemma didn't even think this would happen, but driving Kelly to the brothel felt weird, her whole life she never thought she'd ever been in this position, her eyes on the road pulling into the lot seeing the van there. "I can't believe Clay!" Gemma snapped, she placed her hands on the wheel looking over to Kelly. "You wanna stay here?"

"No." Kelly finally spoke, "I think you need me there, I mean if Clay is doing anything right now, it's trying to get under your skin." Kelly took her seat belt off and opened the car door. "I think you need to remember that."

"I know darling, but I am sick of Clay still…" Gemma walked into the front door, she could see that Nero was already waiting.

"Hey…" Nero looked from Gemma to Kelly behind her.

Gemma exhaled, "Where is he?" She asked, she didn't want to have small talk, she wanted to know where Clay was.

"How'd you know he came up?" Nero looked surprised, but his eyes kept falling onto Kelly.

"Carla called…" Gemma felt her eyes going from Nero to Kelly, but still not making the connection.

Nero's eyes on Kelly, but returned to Gemma, "He was just pissing on my shoes. They already split…" He spoke calmly, but then he didn't like this position he was in.

Kelly felt lost, "Van's out front." Her voice calm, but felt a sinking sensation in her stomach, like something she didn't want to know was going to make her life do a one eighty.

The whole conversation Gemma and Nero was having blurred when Kelly saw Juice coming out of a hallway putting his shirt back on, his smile fell quickly from his face seeing Kelly standing in the lobby, turning back now to Carla who naturally put two and two together.

"You shit head!" Kelly then looked to Gemma.

"Where is he?" Gemma asked, but she kept looking to Juice not that happy with him.

Juice kept looking from Gemma to the angry expression on Kelly's face. "Who?"

"Really!" Gemma snapped, her eyes going from Nero to Juice and back again, she couldn't believe it. "Do you want me knocking down every door!" Gemma pushed forward making her way into the hall.

"Room three…" Carla said while watching everyone followed Gemma, everyone expect for Kelly. "You wanna run after them?"

Kelly bit her lip, she inhaled sharply before shaking her head, "Nope." She now folded her arms looking to the other woman. "But then then you're some fucked up sister. Getting off on making misery."

"And how do you know that little girl?" Carla folded her arms, "I don't need to explain myself." Carla now listened to sound of a fight.

"We're not done!" Kelly pointed in the woman's face before going to the sound of the commotion, pausing only to see Nero pulling Gemma off a young blonde girl.

Juice was helping her to her feet as Gemma stormed out; the look on Clay's face really said it all to Kelly. "Are you happy now Clay?" Kelly shook her head looking to Juice. "I don't even know what to say to you." Her eyes looking him over and she left the room feeling like she was going to hit someone soon.

* * *

Juice didn't stay around after dropping Clay off home; he knew that he needed to figure out what to say to Kelly. He didn't even do anything with Carla, but he knew that Kelly wasn't going to just believe that. He pulled into a parking space getting out the van. He could see Kelly's car in the driveway as he quickly walked to the front door, he opened it seeing that everything looked the same. "Kelly…" He called quickly into the house; he could tell she was home from the living room light being on.

Sitting on the sofa, Kelly was staring at the doorway watching Juice walk in, her whole face was calm, but she didn't look mad or upset. Just plain.

"Kelly." Juice took a step into the room, she kept still. He didn't like how her eyes were not leaving his face. "I know what that looked like back there."

"Do I?" Kelly glanced away from his stare, her hand coming up to her face brushing her cheek, but looked back to him without a change of expression, "Cos I am finding it hard to believe."

Juice was careful; he kneeled in front of her, his hands reaching for her face feeling her eyes staring into his. "I would of never, I told her that I wasn't interested, and she said she just wanted to piss off that Nero guy…"

"So you went along?" Kelly felt her eyes still focused, but she wasn't ready to let herself go, she could feel her stomach knotting up, her hands holding onto her belly.

Juice could see the tension in her eyes, his hands careful to move over hers, he could tell she wasn't going to hit him. "I love you, and I didn't think you'd turn up with Gemma." He exhaled. "I swear to you, I swear that nothing happened." He watched her eyes slowly falling. "She came onto me, took me to a room, tried to undress me. I told her I wasn't interested, that I have a family." He exhaled hoping Kelly was listening.

"So you really turned her down?" Kelly's voice was low, but Juice nodded touching her face, he could tell this was hard for her.

Juice lightly kissed her forehead, his hands now moving into her hair locking eyes with her. "I would never do anything to ruin what I have with you." He kissed her once more on the lips feeling her move into his body. "I love you Kelly, and will do anything to keep you." He felt her head resting on his shoulder now, he closed his eyes feeling her arms wrap around him.

"I hate that woman…" Kelly whispered, "I hate this week, and I hate that I feel like everything is going to be hell…" Her face moved to get a better look at Juice's face. "I don't know why."

"Baby your hormones are all going crazy, but I promise you this. We'll find out who is behind the home invasions, we'll get Jax, Chibs, Tig and Opie out of lock up, and everything is going to be okay." His fingers brushed her hair back. Juice could tell everything was getting to Kelly.

"Really?" Kelly smiled, "Everything is going to be okay?" Her voice was weak, but she tried to smile seeing that Juice was smiling at her.

"I promise…" He gave her a kiss before getting to his feet; he lifted her into a bridal carry before heading to the bedroom. "It's just a rough patch." Juice finally said placing Kelly on the bed kissing her softly.


	4. I can't say goodbye to you

**AN:  
**Well I finally got this chapter out, and to be honest I feel like I really don't like feeling like a emotional wreck over the lose of Opie, and he is my all time favourite character, and I loved his send off. Plus I am hoping to be able to keep the updates coming when I am better focused to write. But I do hope you like this one, and I look forward to reading review.  
This chapter is dedicated to Opie, he died a worrior's death

* * *

**Chapter Four  
**___I can't say goodbye to you_

* * *

Juice felt Kelly behind him on the bike, the news of the guys release was the only reason he was riding with Kelly to the club house. He heard the news of Opie, but the one thing he couldn't do was tell Kelly about it. He knew the news would crush her, it wasn't easy to tell the one woman he loved that the man who was like a big brother to her was now dead.

While the ride didn't take that long Juice could feel his heart pounding against his ribs, the knowledge eating away at his stomach like acid. He kept a good poker face, but in the back of his mind he knew someone was going to need to break the news to Kelly, he just didn't want it to be him.

Stopping the Bike Kelly jumped off, she felt like something was being kept from her, but the guys were now out. That was all Juice had told her. She walked over to Tara and the boys, she felt Abel run into her arms as she hugged him close, "Hey little man." She whispered placing him back down, her attention quickly to Tara. "They back yet?" she asked brushing her shirt down taking the helmet off.

Tara kept still, for a few seconds she could tell Kelly didn't know, she felt like a bomb had been dropped into the pit of her stomach. "No… But they will be here soon." Tara exhaled looking to Thomas. "How are you doing?"

Kelly placed her hand to her stomach, she felt that horrible sensation again, "Fine." Her word blunt, her eyes going over Tara's face. She wasn't so good at hiding the bad news as Juice was. "What are you not telling me?"

Tara opened her mouth, but the sound of oncoming bikes shook Kelly's attention away from Tara's face.

Kelly watched each bike pulling in, and she counted bikes feeling the penny finally drop looking to Jax getting off his bike. "Where's Opie?" Her words were a small whisper.

Tara exhaled, she could see Jax getting off his bike, but her mouth couldn't find the right words to say getting up from the chair she was sitting on. "Kelly…" Her hand reached out to touch her, but all she could do was watch as she stood there looking like a ghost.

Kelly's eyes snapped to Jax's face, "Where is Opie?!" Her voice was like sandpaper, her eyes starting to well up seeing the expression on her cousin's face. "No…" Her hand went up to cover her mouth. It was like a ton of bricks hit her all at once, the world around her had stopped moving.

Taking a step towards her Jax felt worse, but he could see Kelly stepping back. "Kelly." He watched her stepping further back from him.

While Kelly felt the tears finally trickling down her cheek she shook her head, "This isn't right, it just." Turning around Kelly ran into the club house, she couldn't see any faces, but they all blurred passed her as she opened the door to the toilet and felt herself falling forward to throw up everything she ate for breakfast.

Chibs had seen Kelly running; he felt his attention to Jax and Tara before thinking what to do. He knew that this news wouldn't have hit anyone well, but with Kelly being in her condition.

Sitting on the floor Kelly could feel the tears falling from her cheeks onto her shirt, her hand quick to push them away as she inhaled sharply feeling like her chest wouldn't let her breathe deep. All she kept thinking was this couldn't be happening, he was just running late, maybe he went to see the kids first. It then hit Kelly how Ellie and Kenny had lost another parent, her hands holding around her stomach feeling her baby inside, she didn't want to ever think of her child not having her, or Juice in its life. A fresh wave of pain hitting her, Kelly closed her eyes trying to will herself to wake up from this nightmare.

"Kelly!" Chibs stood outside the door, he could hear her sobbing, but the door was lock leaving him helpless on the other side. "Please open up." He added trying to get her attention by knocking louder, he couldn't even understand why Juice wasn't here, but right now all Chibs kept seeing was Opie's final moments like a nightmare that wouldn't shut off.

Chibs stood still; he listened to the sound of the lock, but waiting a few seconds before opening the door seeing Kelly still on the floor beside the toilet. The look of her face was enough to break Chibs heart, he couldn't think of anything to say, but he crossed the gap lifting Kelly from the floor and holding her in his arms. Chibs could feel her hands moving around his back, and the feeling her face on his chest.

Silence kept hanging, Chibs could only brush his hand into her hair, feeling her tears soaking through his shirt, but he didn't speak a word. The feeling hadn't completely settled in himself, he couldn't have seen this coming. Opie was a big part of the club, the man had been through so much suffering, only to go out the way he did.

"I need to know…" Kelly finally spoke, as she pulled away from Chibs to look into his eyes, "I can't not know." Her voice was rough.

Chibs exhaled, "Right now, I don't think it's right lass…" His hand touched her cheek; he could see the redness of her eyes conflicting with the paleness of her cheeks. "I don't even what to remember."

Kelly nodded, "You saw, you saw it happen?" Her eyes kept looking up to Chibs, while Kelly see the pain in his eyes, and knowing that Chibs, Jax and Tig all knew what happened to Opie, they must have all seen what had happen to take his life.

"Ey…" Chibs couldn't will himself to say more, but he rested his hand on Kelly's stomach, he could tell she was going to be taking this hard. Opie was like a brother, they were family, and losing a member of the family never would go unnoticed.

Kelly closed her eyes, "I'm sorry." Her eyes opened to see that Juice was standing in the doorway, her eyes going him and back to Chibs face. "Juan probably had a good reason not to tell me."

Chibs face turned to look over Juice, he could see the guilty expression on his face. "You should have given her some warning." He shook his head. "I better get to chapel," His attention on Juice. "We've got Church." He walked out of the bathroom passed Juice.

Juice couldn't think what to say to Kelly, "I didn't know what to say, I couldn't tell you and see this look on your face."

"I know baby…" Kelly took a step towards him and brushed a light kiss on his cheek, "I wouldn't even know how to tell me my best friend, the one man who was closer to me than anything." Kelly brushed her eyes with the back of her hand. "I can't believe this is happening."

Juice, "I don't think any of us can." He took her hand pulling her towards him; he felt her head resting neatly against his chest. "But we'll get through this." He whispered into her hair. Closing his eyes he felt Kelly holding onto him as he tried to not think of what was going to happen from now on.

* * *

While Gemma exited the toilet she walked through the clubhouse, it was like feeling like she was walking under water. If this news just got to her she didn't know what to think, the feeling was overwhelming to her. After everything that her family had been put through, and after all the pain. Gemma walked outside to see Kelly sitting at a table on her own, in her hand was a smoke. "You know that isn't good for the baby."

Kelly paused turning to look at Gemma's face; she exhaled the smoke while shrugging. "I needed something to calm my nerves." Her voice was small, her eyes looked sore. "I don't need a lecture from you Gemma."

"I'm not going to tell you what to do baby," Gemma sat beside Kelly, she took the smoke taking a pull from it. "Guess you're like me on finding out."

"As in Juan didn't have the balls to tell me, so I had to find out when I didn't see Opie come home." Kelly took the smoke back from Gemma taking a long pull, she knew smoking wasn't a good thing to do, but she couldn't handle the stress of knowing she'd never see Opie smile again, ride beside him in his truck and listen to the radio. Everything Kelly knew was turning into something she'd never understand. "I'm going to miss him so much."

Gemma placed a hand on Kelly's arm, "I know sweetheart," Her voice felt like sandpaper, her eyes looking over Kelly's face. "But you've got to think of your family, you're going to be a mother."

Kelly laughed, she didn't like the feeling. "I keep thinking," Kelly inhaled more of the smoke, she exhaled. "I was going to have this baby, and Jax and Opie were going to be fussing over it. Like if it's a girl, they'd be over protective, if a boy they'd make him a man." Kelly shook her head. "I don't know how I'm going to see things now. Opie was my go to guy, if I was upset about anything, he'd listen." Holding a hand over her eyes Kelly didn't want to cry again. "I don't like how everything seems to keep getting worse."

Gemma watched the gates; she took the smoke from Kelly's hand putting it out, "You've got me." She felt Kelly looking up to her. "I'm always here for you Kelly…"

"I know," Kelly could see a blue truck pulling into the lot and not long with Jax and Chibs pulling behind, a girl Kelly didn't know on the back of Jax's bike.

Gemma got to her feet heading over to the guy, but Kelly got to her feet heading into the clubhouse. While she walked through looking to the wall, she glanced over the photos feeling her eyes drifting over Opie's face.

Clay walked through the halls; he stopped seeing Kelly standing in front of the mug shot wall. "How you doing?"

Kelly keep still, she didn't want to look at Clay feeling her hands move to her stomach. "Not good." Her words stiff, she didn't like talking to Clay, she tried her best to restrict any interaction with the man who used to be like a father to her.

Clay took a step closer to Kelly, he raised a hand, but paused before touching her, "I know you're mad at me, I understand that you're…"

Kelly spun around, her eyes glaring, "I am mad at you, I hate you!" Kelly spat out. "You're a bad man, you're an evil…" Her voice was breaking up. "You made this mess. Dawn is dead because of you; Opie is dead because of you!"

Clay took a step back, he had seen the hate in Jax's eyes, and he even felt sick seeing it in Gemma's eyes, but seeing Kelly looking at him this way wasn't any easier. "Kelly, I can't undo what happened to Piney."

"You murdered Piney, and you can colour it anyway you want, but I know why you did it." Kelly moved her hands from her stomach, she felt like her insides were swimming. "You're going to get what is coming to you."

Clay exhaled, he watched as Kelly walked away from him, his eyes watching her walk away. It then hit him, it hit him so hard that he couldn't believe it. Kelly had read the letters too, she knew the truth.

* * *

Watching the guys bringing the coffin into the clubhouse Kelly kept sat at the bar, her eyes watching carefully as Jax and Lyla were the last to enter the chapel. Her hand on the glass of water, even if she wanted a drink no one would give her it. Kelly exhaled watching as everyone but Jax and Lyla left the room.

Juice could see that Kelly had stopped crying, but her blank expression made him understand she wasn't going to be okay for a while; he walked over placing a hand to her cheek. "Are you going to be here long?" He asked turning to look at the chapel.

"I'm going to be here," Kelly replied, she felt her eyes pulling towards Juice's. "I don't ever want that to be you." She felt the words slip out in a mix of fear and new tears.

Juice quickly wrapped her in his arms, he felt her hands around him in a desperate need to hold him, and he felt her crying as he hushed her, holding onto her feeling worse. "It won't be me baby, I promise…" He closed his eyes holding onto Kelly, feeling her calming down as he pulled away kissing her softly. "I love you."

"I love you too…" Kelly watched Juice brushing her cheeks, "I can't lose anyone else…"

Juice tried to smile, but it was a half made effort as he could tell it wouldn't make anything better. "You won't lose anyone else." He lifted her hand kissing it, and then looked to see Jax exiting the chapel and making his way over to them.

"Hey, can we have a minute?" Jax asked Juice, he looked over the people gathering in the clubhouse. "We'll go somewhere quiet to talk." Jax said to Kelly trying his hardest to not say anything to upset her.

Juice quickly kissed Kelly again, "I'll be in the auto shop if you need me Kelly." Juice looked to Jax, "I'm just going to work on my bike if that's okay."

"Yeah." Jax nodded watching Juice walk away, he offered a hand to Kelly, she shook her head getting off the barstool, her face still looking around the people gathering.

Getting to his room Jax closed the door watching Kelly sitting on the bed, her hands running through her hair as she didn't know what to say, her whole body felt numb. "Kelly, I know this is a lot of me to ask, but I need you to do me a favour."

"Sure, I have a feeling I know what you're going to ask me anyway." Kelly sighed; she felt a hand over her stomach before watching Jax sit beside her.

Jax exhaled, his free hand touching his cousin's stomach, he tried to think of the words to say, but just sat watching Kelly. "I need you to help Lyla."

"I was planning on that anyway." Kelly placed her hand over Jax's, "She needs all the help she can get." Her eyes connected with his. "Jax, I need to know what happened in county." Kelly bit her lip, she knew it was going to be hard to get the answers, but she couldn't go another minute without knowing.

Jax closed his eyes, he felt Kelly's hand holding onto his, but it was hard for him to even think of what happened, let alone tell Kelly. "It won't help."

"I know what ever happened; it had everything to do with why you're scared." Kelly used her free hand to pull Jax attention to her face. "In all honesty I was thinking Tig would be the one coming back in a box, after what that Damon Pope did to Dawn."

"No, he wants Tig alive…" Jax felt sick, "Kelly, there is a lot of shit I really can't tell you."

Kelly shook her head, "Club shit." Her voice was harsh, "Well I am going to tell you what I am thinking." Her eyes now dead set on Jax, her whole life she looked up to Jax and Opie to be honest, and she wasn't going to be lied to. "I think what ever happened in there, it was to do with Pope, and if I am right, I am thinking this isn't something that is going to go away, and I see it all over your face Jax."

"Kelly, I didn't know what to do. I still don't know what to do." He felt his hand reach out taking Kelly's hand from his face, his fingers holding onto hers. "I didn't want anyone to die."

Kelly nodded, "I know, but why did it happen. Please…" Both Kelly and Jax looked down to her stomach, the baby now lightly kicking. "Did it happen fast?"

Jax closed his eyes, "Kelly, I…" He opened his eyes seeing she was watching him very closely. "I was told that a son had to die." He then saw her face fall. "It was me, Chibs or Ope, and I couldn't pick between Opie or Chibs. I told Opie everything, I told him that so…"

"You were planning on taking the fall…" Kelly exhaled, she shook her head. "Jax…"

"Kelly, Opie he. He jump in, I didn't want him to, but he." Jax felt sick, he could see that Kelly was paying close attention to his words, and he held onto her hand tighter. "They wanted a fight, and it was four on one, Opie fought, he really did, but…" Jax felt his chest hurting, he closed his eyes. "Kelly I can't."

Kelly pulled Jax into her arms, she felt him holding onto her. Kelly didn't want to hear more, she knew what had happened, now she felt worst for having to make Jax tell her. "Don't say anything else." Kelly whispered, she felt her hand brush over her cousin's back, she held onto him trying her hardest to keep it together. "I love you Jackson…"

Jax pulled away from Kelly, he rested her forehead against hers, "I love you too Kelly." He whispered before kissing her.

They then sat there in silence, the fact was they both didn't have any words to say to each other, the moment grew longer, and Jax finally stood up. "You go talk to Lyla."

Kelly nodded, "I'll do whatever I can to help." Watching Jax leave the room Kelly exhaled and laying back on the bed looking up to the ceiling, she thought about how everything was going to be from now on. Poor Ellie and Kenny, and everything they had been through since their mother died, and now they lost their father.

* * *

Lyla sat alone, she had so many people come and give condolences that she was sick of the sound of the word sorry. She glanced over to the kids together, they didn't play. No they just sat in silence as they all knew that today was a sad day.

Taking a sip of her drink Lyla exhaled seeing Kelly making her way over, the girl was someone that Lyla never really had much social iteration with, but then knew was a good person. Opie would always speak so highly of Kelly that Lyla wondered why she never made the effort to talk to her more.

Sitting down Kelly glanced over Lyla's face, she looked worse than she did. "Hey…" Kelly placed a hand on the table; she watched Lyla's reaction, her eyes going from the drink to Kelly. "Don't worry; I'm not going to do the typical sorry for your lost bullshit people say cos they can't think of anything else."

"I don't know how much more I can take." Lyla finally said.

Kelly moved her hand; she placed it over Lyla's, "I just want to say. What I mean is, I want you to know you have me…" She paused with a small laugh, it wasn't much. "I mean I am here to help, you need someone to watch the kids, and you need someone to just be there."

Lyla turned her hand over, she felt Kelly holding on tight, "You don't have to…"

"No, but I want to." Kelly added, she looked over to Ellie and Kenny, "Opie was the one man in my life that I knew would always care." Her voice was soft, her eyes looking right into Lyla's. "I love Opie, I remember being ten years old and telling Opie that I was gonna marry him." Kelly felt the laugh escape again. "But then he found Donna, and I grew up."

"When you came back, if Ope and I weren't…" Lyla bit her lip for a second looking behind her to the kids. "Would you and Opie…?"

Kelly stared at Lyla for a second, she tried to think, but her mind was a blank page. "I don't know how to answer that." Her hand let go of Lyla's as she placed it to her stomach. "Lyla, I love, loved Opie so much, but then I don't think I'd ever be with him like that."

"Sometimes when he talked about you, I kinda got the feeling that could have happened." Lyla shrugged, "But maybe it was me being paranoid." Her eyes looked across the club house seeing Juice entering. "But then you have him…"

Kelly turned her head to see Juice making his way over, she could tell from the look on his face he wanted to see her. "Yeah, I have the Juice head…" She felt Juice's hand reach out and rub her shoulder.

"Who you calling a Juice head?" He kissed the top of Kelly's head; he then looked over to Lyla. "I'm…"

"Don't!" Kelly snapped, "I think she's had enough of that for one day." She added while giving Lyla's a small smile. "I am always a phone call away."

"We're about to…" Juice titled his head towards the chapel. "I thought I'd tell you before he's gone." He felt Kelly tense, she realised she never saw Opie's body, and her attention went to Lyla knowing that it wasn't going to be an easy sight.

"I'll go say my goodbyes…" Kelly got to her feet; she faced Juice with a soft expression, her eyes looking deep into the dark brown. "I need to do this alone," Kelly got to her feet; she turned around to look over Lyla. "Remember I am always a phone call away."

Juice watched as Kelly walked through the crowd, he sat down where Kelly was sitting and looked over Lyla. "She's doing better since this morning."

Lyla inhaled, "Juice, she's not okay." Her voice was light; she placed a hand over Juice's. "But you're good for her." Lyla smiled, but then Juice didn't really think about it.

* * *

Kelly looked into the coffin; it seemed that everyone else gave her the time to be alone. It was hard for Kelly to look; she stood a few feet away before having the courage to look inside. Opie looked different, she didn't know what to expect, but she felt like something was missing.

Opie was pale, but then he was dead, she glanced over all the things people had placed into the coffin with him, the bottle of tequila, the rosary beads in his hands, the tools, and other things. Kelly brushed her hand over the beanie hat he always wore, her eyes going to the cut on his forehead. "Why Ope?" She whispered brushing her hand against his cheek. "You had to go out like that." She carried on the conversation.

Kelly couldn't wrap her head around it, her hand kept moving over his cold face, seeing that he wasn't there. Moving her hand to his she tried her hardest to keep it together. "I had the biggest crush on you, and even if I grew out of it." Kelly bit her lip squeezing a hand that wasn't going to squeeze back anymore. "I'm going to miss you Ope." Leaning down Kelly placed a kiss on his forehead. Her eyes closed feeling the pain in her chest almost crippling her.

Taking a step back Kelly reached into her pocket taking out the keys to her bike, she placed them beside Opie in the coffin. "I can't ride that bike anymore." She said looking over his face one more time. "I'm going to help look after you children, I will make sure Kenny never becomes this." She finally glanced outside the chapel seeing Jax making his way in.

Jax watched as Kelly stood away from the coffin, she gave him a nod as he placed a hand to her cheek, there was a pause as Kelly took this time to let Jax say goodbye, she could see the pain in his face harder for him to hide as she stood back and felt like this was going to be hard on her cousin.

Jax and Opie were more than best friends, they were brothers, and had a bound that was stronger than any she'd ever known.

The club coming in, it was time for Opie to go, and Kelly followed as Opie's coffin was carried out of the club house by the club. Kelly made her way to Lyla; she placed her hand in hers as Gemma stood with them walking beside the guys. The silence was comforting, and Lyla glanced over to Kelly giving her hand a squeeze feeling the younger woman there made her know she wasn't going to be alone.

The hearse waiting, Kelly could see Tara making her way from the garage, she looked as if she was in a daze, but everyone seemed to have that emotion. Emotionally numb from the shock of losing a family member.

With the coffin going in, Kelly kept her hand in Lyla's and watched as Jax slammed the door shut, it was that the guys of the club headed for their bikes that Juice quickly rushed over to Kelly.

Juice could see Lyla and Kelly holding hands, Gemma placing her hand on Lyla's shoulder, "We're going to follow the hearse." Juice spoke more to Kelly. "Will you be okay here?"

Kelly nodded, "I'm going to go home with Lyla tonight, I think she'll need some help with the kids." Her eyes looking over Juice's face, she let of Lyla's hand, both her hands touching Juice's face before kissing him. "Ride safe."

"I always do…" Juice brushed his nose against Kelly, "I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed her quickly before going to his bike, the sons now following Opie's coffin to the funeral home.

Gemma glanced over to Tara, it seemed like the woman wasn't making any advances of coming over to them, and Kelly and Lyla headed back into the club house to get the kids to go home.

"You okay?" Gemma asked Tara as she looked over the bloody case, but she could tell that Tara wasn't really going to be in a talkative mood.

Tara shrugged, "I better get home to the boys." Her voice was worn out; everything about this week was taking everything out of her. "I can't do this right now Gemma." She added while turning to head to her car, she turned to see Gemma heading back into the club house, but everything in Tara was making her feel this wasn't over.


End file.
